♥ WENXUAN-

A ring symbolises promise...and so much more. Purple symbolises royalty and peace while white represents purity...how often do these 3 come together? Royalty is power, once u hav the power, u're easily misguided...misled to do so much u never thought u wld...thoughts are never pure anymore. I never believed in promises...cuz i've heard n experienced so many...and i've came down to the conclusion "promises r meant to b broken". Keep that in mind ((: But when the 2 beautiful colour comes together...it becomes a promise that's worth to keep, that'll mk the world a better place...it looks beautiful on the outside, but they'll never mix...just like in this pic.

Betrayal...broken promises...lies. This is what i'm talking abt. At the end of the day, u can trust no1 but urself. This pic is just 1 solid example...

Okay...getting back to the main pnt, Chemistry paper was tough and E.maths left me speechless. Many were unable to finish the paper within the time given. Another screw up? Let's not waste time thinking abt what's the past...we hav Geog, Hist, Amaths and Emaths P2 to go so tomorrow's nt my labour day, gunna study or ther's gunna b no harvest nehhx.

Pics of hamsies for my entertainment and smiles n urs too ((:

Ok here's sugar the FAT PIG...sleeping at 1 side.

I noe..it's too fat to b true...but it's true

Winter the other fat pig...i assume all winter whites r lyk that k??

Cookie running...it's fat as well...though blurred

and the other fat pig Butter crouching under the wheel...

and today seems to b lazy day...every1's preparing for labour day tmr...

Butter is sleeping on the cooling tile...

hahas...so cute huh. BUTTER KAWAII NEHH~~
and Cookie playing peek a boo. (Sry for e blurred quality...)
Tada...the 2 fattie darlings....lols.They're nt as dark in clred in real though...i was using nightmode

and my sweeeeet Sugar woke up...hahas. So photogenic rite...KAWAII!!

and Winter is still sleeping...oh wells

Cookie got tired afta running for awhile so it's resting on the tile...

The ear cannot b helped ler...it's torn at the lobe corner but the nose as u can c, it's all healed :D

and my 2 big big Darlings...yeah. I noe...my 2 big fat pigs

Tada...i hope u're entertained by my darlings cuz my mood was lightened just by looking at their cute faces. :] Hamhams r the LOVE~!

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:08 PM

28th April
I slept, i dreamt, i smiled. The dream started off so beautifully, that we finally got the chance to talk over and reconcile and i could've sworn i must've been smiling throughout my peaceful sleep...first, u gave me another chance, we become good friends again, like before, we chatted on MSN almost daily, we smiled and laughed over the phone and smsed in classes... and the next thing came by in an unpleasant manner, i opened my eyes and poof i'm back to reality, u're distant again. I felt so lost that i just spaced out for the whole day, and i felt lyk i've lost everything in split seconds...when i woke up, it's all gone. How i wish that was ANOTHER dream itself...that everything will go back to before. Better yet, i wish i had no memories, i wish i've never done that and so many 'i wish i had', 'if only' and 'what if's surfacing. Yeah what's the pnt? What's done is done, irreversible, u'll never turn back and say all those comforting words u once did to me again =((

Chinese paper was...uhh...ok i shan't say anything. Lets sentence onli after we get our papers back yeah? Couldn't sleep last night, wonder if it's because i'm afraid there's gunna b a continuation/sequel to the dream which will leave me spaced for the whole of today again?? Or was it because of the weather?? Let's not make assumptions, be glad i actually fell asleep with the help of my trusty air-con ofcuz =/ yeah it was WARM. And i'm glad i got this hearty rest i felt lyk i so deserved cuz i had no dreams...i wonder if that's a good thing =/

29th April
I wonder if the dreamless sleep helped at all....how i wish i could just get this dream where i get to see all the questions of the paper. Haiyah! But it doesn't matter...SS was bad and Bio was worse. Unknown terms surfacing...chim-ology here and there...my brain was practically spinning...so i think i'll stop blogging here and start preparing for my E.maths and Chemistry paper tmr. Good luck to me :]

LOVE BESTIES~♥
3:15 PM

Once my mom starts, she just can't stop. At least that applies to her lips. I wanted to sign a treaty of appeasement wif her...and it worked...at least for 1 mnth till she started attacking me again. Some how or another, her controls spoilt, she can't stop shooting words at me once she begin...ouch. What's e solution? Run out of house to study and play ((: I've never felt more wonderful...don't start screaming back at her...cold war might turn into hot war and i'd most likely be the casualty. Afterall, i'm under policy of isolationism at home while she's allied wif my dad :D

Great huh...applying history there...i know i rock too much. :] What's better? Went to Jurong library in e morning, we were early...but we couldn't find a table anyway, so we made do wif a sofa-ed seat in Cafe Galilee inside the library and the ice-chocolate rocks. What more? We ordered a tray of fries, they gave us a tray of fries and another tray of potato wedges...wow. Buy 1 get 1 free...maybe they starting to realize how costly their menu is. Either ways, my pocket was heavily burnt.

Studied chemistry and whoa i actually finished all the large topics including sec 4 topics in 6 hrs of work. Kudos to myself.

For some reason, pple love showing me attitude today. While i was gg to Mc eating breakfast this morning (yeahyeah mc again...), i asked for garlic chilli from this _____ and she gave me 2 packets wif a black face. Knowing me...u all shld noe 2 packets won't do for me. I asked for more and that _____ grabbed 7 and threw it on the tray flashing me with that chau bin ('smelly face' in direct translation). Yes what's the big f**king problem with her? Not happy dun work in Mc larh...never heard b4? Service wif a smile AND the customer (me) is always right!! B*TCH. So i gave her a glare before i walked away from the counter. Yes...the type of glare wif my eyes bawling out. WHOA!

After studying, went to arcade. Yes the Para machine in JP spoilt...at least the scanning thingy did. I scanned my credits and the machine deducted the credits inside, but didn't giv me any plays. Went to call that auntie help...she start asking if we scanned correctly. If i scanned wrngly, the machine wouldn't hav eaten my money, idiot. Ask so much, checked on e comp oso ler mah, i saw the data said i SCANNED on that dumb machine and u're still trying to argue ur way through. Idiot, all u hav to do is help me press e button to activate the plays. THATS ALL! What's there to complain abt? I'm repeating again, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!! I can see lot1's staff hav 1001 times a better attitude than that curly haired old-hag has. They solve a machine problem without complaining and they never tried to fight their way through a stupid argue. Attitude problem then dun work in e arcade lah...f**ker.

Enough of complaining anyway, came back after that to lot1 to meet Kenneth Tan and Ho. Watched them play initial D, hmm nt bad ehh. Then saw this girl who's quite good playing Para. Shiyun got stressed...didn't perform up to standard or she wld've won. -.- and this other b*tch brought her whole class of losers into the arcade, smiling laughing and showing off her b**bs, trying to act sexy, laughing at Shiyun...yeah lyk she did any better. Both Shiyun and I cleared 5 stages and she play SOFTKEYS dying at stage 3. Now she's laughing at herself. Of course, losers often make themselves scarce after making a mockery of themselves. ((:

Ok i vented all my anger here...be sure to leave a tag yeah? :]

LOVE BESTIES~♥
9:39 PM

TADA~~!! I'm bored. Came back from Lot1 and Bukit Panjang. Bought a long blouse-dress. It's whoa nice. Can b worn lyk a dress or a long blouse wif a shorts inside. Wonder if i shld get a belt to buckle it up. ((: It's nice i think...lols. Bought stationaries for exam uses and also a hamham toilet >.< Even went to c Geraldine's 3 baby hams, so cute lorh...hahas. I feel happy seeing that they're still as fat as ever =/ Had Mcdonalds for breakfast n pepper lunch for dinner...fancy blogging this up huh -.^

Loneliness...perhaps something we're all afraid of. Who loves being lonely? Not me at least. When i see happy couples holding hands in pairs walking on the streets, i can't help but be envious, looking at their smiley faces. How long has it been since i last felt lyk the emptiness in my heart was filled?? Perhaps 2 yrs ago...yeah time wif Xinyou and Danny really filled me up within my heart, i hav everyday to look forward to and every sms to smile at.

Perhaps time wif Jeremy wasn't as satisfying, it was a dying and hanging relationship that's bound to fail 1 day...theres no proper start so there'll only be a painful end...what a pity huh.

At times, even walking in the supermarket can mk u fantasize, abt the day u and ur beau walks together to simply buy groceries...that's the kind of life i can look forward to. The emptiness i feel now is time and again, momentarily filled by my girlfriends but how long do they usually last? Till we say goodbye each day? Then when i reach home, i'll lie down on my bed, stare at my ceiling and continue dreaming about prince charming.

I'm not asking for some rich/handsome guy here. I just need sum1 dependable, someone who's not as loser as *** is and someone whom i can smile/feel comfortable/look forward daily to be with.

Ok forget abt my dreamings...which person on this earth doesn't dream of love? Who on earth doesn't yearn for care and comfort? Who loves being lonely here? I'm sure, no one. We feel upset having no love, but at times while loving someone, we feel even more pain...for 1001 things ur dearest do/think/encounter. You can give everything to him and u'll love everything he gives/showers u wif, that's love. The bitter sweet feeling...the feeling of life-satisfaction and i really look forward to the day where that emptiness within my everyday life and within myself gets filled up by Mr. Right.

But then again, dream and reality has their differences...big ones...

LOVE BESTIES~♥
10:12 PM

Everyone's like a mystery themselves. We all hav our own concealed lives deep underneath what's always overlooked on the surface. Everyone looks normal and happy on the surface, but who actually knows that u've been crying or hurting urself physically/mentally everyday? No, nobody knows unless it's found out or being told. Just heard something i couldn't really believe my ears, but settling down a little, wasn't i like this before as well? If i can hurt myself cuz of stress, if i can harm myself physically and destroy my health cuz of my troubles and slight mental instability then, what actually makes me think that the other's don't do the same as well?? So many secrets within each smiles we come across everyday, and who knows what lies benneath them? Yeah indeed, i don't know anyone well enough, and i definitely need time to absorb what i heard. A cheerful and happy girl would actually do that, scares me.

Got nagged at by my mom and we ended up in a pretty ugly quarrel. Oh well, nothing new anymore huh?

We all do foolish things at time without realizing it and this is one living example, once you snap out of it, u'll come down to the same question all the time. "Was it worth it? Why did i do it?" We never really know...that's what's so scary abt extreme emotions which i believe all of us experiences at a certain point of time in life here and there, then and now. So at times, never do things on impulse, we shld all c the cause of that drive to do something and think it through. Like how if i wanted to cut myself with a knife, i would think of "ouch" as my first reaction and automatically withdraw that said weapon.

We were told this joke in class before our paper today. There's a ship that was sinking and the people are stuck in a certain dilemma and hard situation. Suddenly, the captain announced, "who on board this ship, can pray?" This man stood out, he thought it was finally the day where he was important to the people around him. Yeah he wasn't wrong, becuz the captain told him "Then please continue praying on this ship sir, we're short of 1 life vest on this ship"

I hope u caught the irony...

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:08 PM

"What do u do when the only person who can make u stop crying, is the one who made u cry?"

I ache each time i see you, and each time i see an alphabet associated with your name, my mind automatically spells it out. The specific detail of you, every inch from head to toe, revolving in my mind and i can never seem to get it out. I hate u for making me think of u so much...and u've never spared a thought of my feelings. The hurtful words that comes out effortlessly from ur mouth, the joy you had sharing the experiences of u and the girl you can't seem to continue the conversation without. My talks circles around you, but urs seem to circle around her. Admittedly, i'm jealous, i just hate to admit this. But there really isn't much to reminincse in this relationship, is there? We have 2 minds that think worlds apart and our perception of treating 'love' is totally the opposite. You can give up working for her, but u can't do the same to me. Since i mean so little, since you already hav the girl that means the world to u, then why do u still cme back?? Why?? U said u hate seeing me cry, u said u wan2 see me smile, and asked how you can help me. Well now i'll say it, the only way u can help me, is to disappear from my life forever, never enter back into my life animore...

Finished English Paper. Paper 2 was OKAY... but paper 1 was disastrous, none of the 5 free-writing topic seemed veri attemptable to me, even to my peers as well. Oh my, the worst kind of paper u can ever expect in ur exams, i hope everything goes well. Now i hav my weekend to myself and then it's back resuming to the Chinese paper and all the rest as well. I hope mid-year exams ends soon...

Now i'll constantly tell myself "never cry for a guy who won't cry for you because girls give and forgive, while guys get and forget."

LOVE BESTIES~♥
1:25 PM

Finished tuition...cleared enquiries and i hope everything goes well tomorrow. Wow, time flies, it's MYE already. LOL! Nothing much to talk abt except for some random rantings luhh.

Blocked this idiot guy who never fails to get me on my nerves. I hate wimps who bow down to girls' feet. I hate guys who hav no backbones, period!! There won't b any change of perspective, not in the next 189324750823 years. Maybe thats why i like Xinyou or Danny in the past, they r mre lyk guys who are strong on their stand and i don't know...just hate nice guys =X

Just some randoms ontop, u can choose to ignore it if it bores u. Just some fun facts we learn from Geography class today. Mumbai, India has this railway train and it is said that everyday, at least 10 ppl won't survive the train ride to work. Either dies of getting electrocuted or crashed into by the train. Ouch. Imagine when u're to report to work daily and u hav to say ur last words to ur family and friends daily cuz i never know when u're gunna fall under the lucky 10. Hahx. So overall about 200,000 pple died from this crap already. Beats guinesses world records :]

Some pretty overdued pictures adnd pretty blurred too. Sry for e bad quality.

GB 19th coy sec 4'08 (graduating batch)

top row (left to right) : Cheri, Eda, Siewyu, Me, Cheryl, SuetLian, Jollie, Jasmine, Shirley

below : Darlene, SiewSia, Dorcas, Faith

absent from picture : Stephanie

(if i accidently missed anyone out...don't blame me >.<)

Class photo....Ok this is random. Fine.

Tomorrow's English paper...i hope i can keep this year's results up. GAMBATTE NEH! And i hope i dun screw bio up or Mr Arul's gunna hang me by e throat and spin me on e fan. Sounds lyk that cld hurt huh :[

LOVE BESTIES~♥
10:22 PM

What r ur intentions? Calling and smsing me last night after you said u won't disturb me again. Yeah, to revenge? Revenge is sweet huh, especially effective if u continue to rub salt in e wound. It hurts me, yeah and you make me wonder what am i in ur eyes. We said not to contact anymore, but you come back time and again. Feelings are there and lyk u said, nothing will chg, nothing will turn back. It's pntless to call me to move-on if u keep clinging onto me and attaching me wif those pathetic pasts i had. Yes i want to clean delete everything abt u, abt him, abt those whom i hate and start afresh. So what if i still like u? SO WHAT??!! Does it mean u can go controlling my life, does it mean u can push me here and there as u like?? NO!! If you think u can tarnish my life, u're so wrong...u're not worth my tears, not worth my breath to talk abt again in future and not worth my feelings to feel for.

School sucks, i was having headache for e whole of today. Suspected i was falling ill, couldn't think straight during maths, can't do anything properly at all. Yeah. Mummy Haru was nagging at me for drinking soft-drinks again. Nothing seems to be working out these days. Felt like i'm on e verge of fainting on the way home, the sun is killing my head then and when i reached home, i had another round robin of high-temperature, 38.6 degrees. WHOA...and exams is in 3 days. I need to get myself back on track to be able to get back to my normal self again...No one falls ill twice in a month huh. Specifically, twice in 3 weeks.

Had 3 rounds of weird dream last night. Yeah i slept considerably early but it wasn't that great of a rest since my brain wouldn't stop working. Starting to behave like me huh. =X Yeah but wasn't that pleasant of a dream, nt sure weather to classify it under a dream or a nightmare...i'd rather nt think abt it. Scares me.

Every1 deserves a chance to score, every1 deserves to be given a chance to aim high no doubt. We're usually consumed by pride, craves and reputation that we don't realize what we're actually going for. So what is it i really want? A good name to say heyy i'm a great scorer or to live a satisfying life? At times i for-go this real purposeful question. Having been wasted 15+ yrs of my life, nothing have surfaced and nothing/no one has been able to provide me wif a proper answer, through actions or words, "what is my living purpose??"

LOVE BESTIES~♥
10:08 PM

Well k...this is gunna be a picture post though. Zuany rox!! She added pics and a nice bakgrnd in our 'besties' blog n i got so obsessed by them at 1st sight WOO!! I love them!! So heres crediting her and also afew of those cute pics. :]

Labels: Pictures, Randoms

LOVE BESTIES~♥
10:18 PM

Making the decision hurts, but after knowing that i've made the right decision to just give it up, to just confront him, to just put an end to everything, i feel proud of myself as so do the pple arnd me i think. It wasn't an easy decision and it took alot of courage to tell myself that i can live well even without him. This decision cuts, i need a pat on my shoulder now, but i know i'll not regret it later on so i guess theres no turning back. It's a decision to prove to myself, to him and to pple out ther that i can live well even without 'love' or 'comfort'.

Afternoon, Shiyun came over. Watched Alvin and the chipmunks. Had teabreak and stopped studying when i began to emo. Walked to lot1 and found our dear Geraldine wif TZR ther. Wonderful her as always >.< U'll always find her in e arcade.

Labels: Friends, hurt, rants, upset

LOVE BESTIES~♥
8:53 PM

Perhaps u've heard me cry, perhaps u've heard me scream. U've heard me say impossible things and being out of who i really am, but it all doesn't mean anything now. To hurt another for this long-lost cause, what's the pnt? It all ended, approximately 2-3mnths ago. The feelings died, the pleas faded, the old me gone. I don't understand myself at times, why do i still talk and reply to u when i told myself that u're no longer significant in my life? Maybe i just don't mean what i say, u've picked on my soft spot, i can never say 'no' to u or him.

I pain when i think of this, so lets just shift the focus of something else. I feel love-sick, i don't know whats controlling my brain, yeah i'm such an idiot, i let my emotions tk over me...a leopard never changes it's spots.

Met up wif Geraldine to study for Biology, did quite alot of revision and yeah, i feel wiser now. Zzz...at least i've done quite alot and witnessed quite alot as well. Retarded pple who use flash cam to snap at people in the library, wif couples enjoying their hanky-panky huggy-kissy in the library. Disturbing, but creates a different ambience in the library, agreed? =/ Reached home at 11pm cuz went to Geraldine's hse afta returning frm Jurong pnt para-ing and having dinner. I feel lyk my heart's all out for poor peanut, quite malnourished in my defination and doesn't look like a hamster in it's tip top contition.

Stop messing my life up, i don't want to continue this painful struggle. Just let go and get on wif life. There will not b any ending to this, and probably no start as well, i'm a waste of time and a wasted effort if there's any put onto me. U'll get over me one way or another, and i think i will some day as well. :[

Labels: cries, Friends, hurt, rants, upset

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:52 PM

Ok...Received many compliments abt this new skin. Yup it's my most favourited one yet, till i find another one that may seem better in my eyes. :] At times, simplicity is just the best huh. lols.

My tagboard got rampaged when 2 beings called Opa and Zuany used the school computer during the "CE Oscar" period to spam my tagboard. -.- Shld i feel honoured? Yeah first, school updated it's computer system to a quicker version "intel duo" and now i got flooded, so i revenged soon as i returned home. Ok enough of bird talks, during the "oscar survey" thingy, i was found to be most suited as a 'biochemist', or jobs related to scientific and social stuff. My 3 interest and abilities are Adminstrative, Investigating and Social. So i'm said to b qualified being an Army officer, a pathetic pharmacist assistant earning $800 a month to some very disgustingly impossible ones like Lawyer, Doctor or Lecturer which earns up to $14'000 a month. Yeah provided i have a PhD luhh. Dream on -.-

I still think R&D research jobs are best suited for me. I was told to be an INVESTOR and a BUYER as well, i never knew i said that i loved taking risks. zzz. Nvm, it's so...speechless. I qualify for 97 different types of jobs but have onli 10 suiting my interest. There are even sad ones which i've never even heard of. =/

Something in class made me horribly upset today, yet 100 other things brought smiles to my face. I can c how many pple chged and became really likable, and how some pple chged to become really irritatingly disgusting. Especially those who tries to follow and be what they are not. I hate losers like these. Prom King and Queen representing the class is chosen and today tuition is fine. Lols. Spent my whole tiring afternoon making a Bestie Blog. Hope they'll sustain it as well as Sister's Blog is....well at least in my dictionary, it's considered alive. Lols. www.4-besties.blogspot.com

Labels: Friends, Randoms, rants, school

LOVE BESTIES~♥
10:11 PM

Back blogging, with a new skin as well. I love this skin. Lols. Can say it's 1/2 made by me n 1/2 made by the original skin creator. I only used the layout of the navigations, all the others were editted by me. Nothing much, class moved to the 1st floor and i hate it. Too noisy :[ tmr will b another day, sian. Going study on saturday, haven't even started revision and no tuition homework, did nothing abt it as well. Other than revisions and gg thru 'Logarithmic and Exponential Functions' tmr, i wonder what else has life got installed for me. Hopefully no AEP tomorrow perhaps. [:

Drawings again...
Theme for this time : 'hood' :]

Labels: drawings, Pictures, Randoms, rants

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:41 PM

I'm so beaten out, i can just collapse on the bed and fall into a deep slumber. Didn't perform that well for Geog cuz i was sick the other day, though still an A, but quite a disappointment. My body always fails me at the worst times. Finished with NAFA test today and passed it, improved in several stations while slackened in others. I'm so mentally exhausted to properly blog now, but i don't know what's seriously gotten into me that suddenly, nature inspires me so much...

Labels: Camwhoring, Pictures, rants, school

LOVE BESTIES~♥
8:18 PM

I felt bliss and happiness last Saturday...accompanied with a tinge of hesitation and lost.
I told myself that i'd hate you, but those harsh feelings seem to dissolve so quickly and i'd never find the source of it.

I always told myself that i can never b bothered with you again, but when i talked to you, i'll find myself deeply indulged in that particular conversation, i absorbed and digested every word you said and i'd find myself constantly smiling at the computer like i'm out of my mind as long as you are over the other side of the conversation. This miraculous and magical feeling i find in no one else, the type of affection i feel for no one else but you even after all these time can never be explained. I'm slowly changing though i deny it, all for that one purpose, for you to one day see everything that i've done for you.

I dream of you day by day without fail, but those false reality only serves as a means of more false hope and mindless waiting for this relationship that's bound to have nothing blossoming out of it. The only thing that'll result in this bitter-sweet mental torture will be more cries, be it silent or visible tears. You're not a perfect guy, you're not a dream guy material for girls, but somehow or another, you always seem to make me fantasize abt you, abt the day i'd finally get to have a taste of my dreams. It all seemed so impossible and i hate myself for the wishful thinkings that i've endlessly pulled on my part.

You have the ability to make me smile and momentarily for-go all the troubles i might be experiencing right then. Your words brings me to another false reality, be it happiness or misery. I cry because of you, i dream because of you, i strive because of you, i smile and laugh because of you. But i know that i can never again muster up that same courage i once had, to confront you and tell you upright that my world revolves arnd you.

I wish i had more control over my own emotions, but until i find someone else that i'd appreciate more than i'd do to you, all i can do is just sit around while my mind, my soul and my heart continues to endlessly circle around every detail of you. I've seriously touched myself with this common saying on the streets, "love is blind."

Labels: cries, hurt, Lost, love, rants, upset

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:48 PM

Yesterday went like every other days. Today and tomorrow will be just another day, or maybe slightly worse than the others. Oral went so badly i don't want to recall it, that poker face scared the hell out of me n my friends. Too fierce, strict and scary to be an examiner, he'll actually make us stutter. I can forsee a super disappointment in my own performance when i get my hands on those unwelcomed results. Yeah it's this bad.

5 stations tomorrow, i can predict my own cloudy face that will stay that way the whole day till that dumb test is over. Yesterday, my beloved white sandals snapped cuz i was playing this awkwardly dumb basketball game with my cousins and alas, i've only worn it for 3mnths!! So i got this new pair of comfy flip flops which i fell in love with the moment i laid my eyes upon it and tried on it.

white flipflops

plus...diamond-ed buckle. Lol. Comfy!

While all the previous fears are gone, new one arises. I hope there's a way for him to get treated and i was glad i was able to do my smallest part by bringing a warm smiles on his wrinkled face. Been so long, but he seemed to hav aged quite alot in recent years. Hurts everyone's hearts...when can all these headaches and heartaches stop? Perhaps i will let my mind go at ease, if 1 day, my uncle who's still staying with my grandparents starts to think, like any matured adults would. It time for him to grow up, we all know it. Question now only lies with, if he is he aware of it? You're no longer young, no wife, no proper family, no achievements, no jobs and no roots...

Labels: complains, Pictures, rants, school, upset

LOVE BESTIES~♥
4:29 PM

Though didn't go out today, was pretty fruitful. Went to lot1 in e evening to have dinner wif parents and later went to Zinc shop cuz they were having this membership promotion now and my parents bought both me n my bro a bag and got me a clutch too. Well e clutch i got was quite unexpected but i still love it. Thx mom ((:

Spent the whole boring afternoon trying to jio someone out but apparently it's near exams period so it's nt easy so i decided to be a good girl n stay at home to watch anime on youtube, veoh and crunchyroll. Apparently some random passerbys passed by my blog and flamed me. Oh well it's my blog, my personal space n a place wher i hold my freedom of doings and speech. I hate busybodies -.- but i can't b bothered wif such a person as well. Was at arcade wif my parents and bumped into Geraldine n ZhengRong ther.

Didn't notice them standing beside me watching sum1 play para for a whole song till i turn my head. How blind can i get =/ So joined then and PS-ed my parents =X but my parents didn't mind. What a relief huh. LOL!! Apparently ther was a fight in e arcade dat the 3 of us didnt notice cuz it was on e other side of e arcade...the DDR Extreme side. Not surprising =/ and wonder y we din notice it tho, till my parents told me when i reached home then yeah, explains why i heard some weird noises while playing half way. LOL! Can't b bothered by those bengs.

The cluth my parents got for me. Thx ((:

and i fell in love with this baby the moment i stepped into the shoppe

a large tote bag, always wanted it hahas and got it at a 15% membership discount :D

lucky me.

Labels: Friends, Pictures, rants

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:37 PM

Been so long since i last posted up a picture-ated post. Yeah life was boring yesterday without school and my girlf.s. LOL! Yeah history test was a complete screw up and bio-prac test was so lol-ed. So boring! They gave us a prawn each so i was expecting something like disecting but guess what, we were called to flip the prawn around to just draw the prawn. Oh man >.< But the smell is so horrible, not to mention my already-suffering stomach felt so queasy after the prawn added on some more smell. Never eat ur medication on an empty stomach =/ Had my recess n felt like vomitting after that. There's this awful bloat i felt for the whole day that was SO hard to describe, 1 word, 'hell'.

Having tuition later after having to postpone time and again cuz of some inconveniences. Sorry Samuel >.< better yet, i don't hav a graph pad so didnt finish some work plus, i forgot 1 part of the homework he gave last week. I'm in for more homework nxt week...Hooray? Yeah i so missed the girls i had to snap-shot them and their candids and post them up here. I hope i come back alive on monday. ((:

Haru caught! Hahaha

Zuany caught!! LOL!

Psycho caught for eating!

And Opa Caught!!

LOL how unlucky can she get nehhx? hahaha...nasi-lemak nice mah? =X

Me without specs, rare sight huh. This is a treat

Or would u prefer me and my old self?

Wif my specs ofcuz. Hahaha

Plus...i repolished my toe nails red. Woots. I'm lovin' it.
though my mom hates it

I know this post is so random...yeah but at least it's something less emo lehh. LOL! Never felt so high in a long time. I wish i can keep this mood up.

Yeahyeah, i should learn to just keep my comments to myself, cuz u noe, it's tiring to intervene pple's life. It's quite pointless as well since pple don't usually care, yeah so why shld i care? I guess i'm not obliged to as well. Making myself to tired to intefere into your affairs, i guess i was jux offering my word of advice n my comment but haha i think shutting up is the best right now. And after so long, i finally realized, u're no longer who i once knew. Talking to you makes me feel like i'm ranting to another person and it hurts...

Labels: Camwhoring, Friends, Pictures, Randoms, rants, school, upset

LOVE BESTIES~♥
5:07 PM

Didn't go school today and was woken up by a sharp headache. Yeah the weather n my head is trying to kill me, vomitted food out too. Not in a good appetite and alas...hav to still eat smth for medicine. Stupid thing. Medical fees costed a bomb of $50 cuz the antibiotics costs $22+ o.O yeah sounds like day light robbery to me. Back to school tmr!

Labels: bored, complains, rants, sick

LOVE BESTIES~♥
3:27 PM

I'm so not ok now. And i can't stand to think hw it'd be like for another kin to leave my life for the permanant again. Tell me that stage 4 cancer is not deadly. :( I hope the doctor has a way to treat my grandfather. Pls be alright =((

Having flu now and no i'm not ok. Nose block, throat irritation, dry coughing, fever, headaches, giddiness. Tell me how i lasted thru today. I wonder if i'll be going for school tmr though. While part of me doesn't want to, i really wan2 take my chemistry practical test. Geog test today was okay and i'm pretty glad i didn't screw my chinese oral up. At least i secured an A1 for it. Good thing? You bet!

Emo-ing? Long gone days ago or is it still lingering within me? I don't know. So much confusion and hesitation, inner strugglings and silent cryings. I finally gt the guts to muster up my courage and come clean wif Haru, Opa and Zuany about my bad luck in relationships. Like they say, it'll be best if i don't cling onto it. I'd hurt so much more later on and i don't think i'd like that. At least not the crying alone part. I know so much that i wan2 hold on to the miraculous and magical feeling of caring for someone deeply through affections and feelings, but the pain of that failure, i know i won't be able to bear it upon my shoulders later on so i guess i shouldn't take any of such risks if i so fear for being hurt deep down again. But still blindly seeking that silently comforting and beautiful feeling of being cared and caring for, i guess i'll continue to wait...till the right one comes along.

Mean while, i hav to worry abt my Midyears. OMG coming so soon and i don't think i'm quite prepared yet so i guess i'll be getting reading for muggings soon.

Labels: rants, sick, upset

LOVE BESTIES~♥
7:56 PM

While some problems are solved, others arises. Perhaps those like Jeremy came back? Yeah i know, what's the pnt? What been the past is the past, but he's been telling me tonnes that he shouldn't hav been since he already hav another gf now, yeah breaks my heart but i know i can't tie him down forever, and he talked as if he wanted to start over, and that he didn't mind breaking wif his current gf cuz he felt pained wif the way i'm treating myself now. I need a break from such retardness. Now i'm falling ill cuz of eating and sleeping disorder, oh great. What more has life installed for me in future?

It's quite a sin to say this but i hav to admit, i loved the care and concern showered even though it's deeply wrong for a guy to say that he likes his ex mre than his current-gf. I know this is a let down to the girl he's with now, but for now, at this painful time, i need the concern and care. I know it's all so wrong, but for once, i want to be a selfish being. Imagine the care and comfort of someone aching for you, yet i know that i don't deserve such attention from the guy whose heart i've once broken. Yeah and it may be too late for the both of us to say this, if only we could turn back time, we might be able to cherish eachother better. But it's all too late. Even if there's gunna be a possibility, i can't see myself being in another relationship again...at least nt anytime soon.

I want to let go of my last bit of hesitation, i want to release the pain that's been held within me for some time now, i want to forget my past, i want to move on with life. So many wants, yet so little solutions and ways to go about approaching this clause, now i understand why people suicide.

Labels: hesitant, hurt, pains, rants

LOVE BESTIES~♥
9:45 PM

I feel lyk dying. Maybe i jux dun deserve to live. I feel lyk crying out, but for some reason i feel choked. Trying to find another way out? It's a dead end for me. Cuz we all shld just learn dat we can't expect pple to see everything u do. Yeah and sometimes i feel lyk i don't deserve to exist on Earth becuz of the character given for me to play in this dimension, in this drama, in this show of life. Sometimes i feel helpless against my own feelings, sometimes i feel lyk crying everything out, but pride prevents me from doing so. Apolgy is a tough word to put into action, sometimes it's too late to regret after everything happened. And the only way to soothe everything may be just to let go of these pple, perhaps they mite be much happier without me, perhaps they mite b better off forgetting a friend lyk me, who brings abt misery and upsets. I'm so tired of explaining my pnt, maybe it may nt b a bad thing to keep ur intentions to urself at times as well, and another thing, i feel lyk deleting this blog. End my words, end my writings, end my past pains. Tell me what to do. I need words of wisdom.

Labels: cries, hurt, rants, upset

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:38 PM

I hate everything this world stands for, i hate life, i hate the fact that i'm on this Earth. Where everyday goes by in a pointless way, where people starts devouring each other with poisonous words. Yes poisonous. Cuz from the pnt i forgot the guy i once liked, from the pnt i start to hate guys, from the pnt i start to mistrust and distrust and from that pnt i tore up the drawings i once drew with thought and feelings in, i knew i was gone for good. A lost cause, a lost me. Cuz everything arnd me will freeze.

Just like in a surgery, it may be a success, it'll still leave a scar there, and people who's been thru surgery are most likely to have problems later on, or to die earlier. Why? Cuz of the fact that their bodies hav been ripped apart by a scalper before.

To the current me, there are only trusts in certain pple, ther r only faith in the minority i knew, the others? People that come and go in my life, i will close up, to everyone else. Cuz people only hear cries of others, people only try to soothe the heat of certain beings, while i shall just get past my feelings myself, with no1 out ther. With no1 to stand by me when i needed a listening ear, and now i'll endlessly remind myself, that i'm no1 in every1's eyes, that my absense will make the world a better place.

I cant wait for the day where everyone on earth starts turning against eachother and die of mutual destruction using the most destructive weapon on Earth, the mouth.

Labels: cries, hate, pains, rants

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:21 PM

Got my A1 for Amaths like finally, something i've been working and waiting for for so long. But this doesn't cheer me up like it was supposed to. People arnd me lack the motivation to study and concentrate for 'O' lvls like i wan2, pple arnd me dun seem to care and i know nothing of what to do. And some things in the afternoon seem to piss me off up till now, i feel like smashing a table. FUCK! And you can't imagine how angry i was at that time, why? Cuz pple can't admit they r at wrng. But i decided nt to rake the whole thing up or elaborate on it. Once again, i'm nt pinpointing. Bye

Labels: cries, hate, school, tired

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:07 PM

Today's been a tiring day for me yeah. Had my Differentiatio/Indices/Logarithms test this morning and i don't know how i'll fare for it, if i don't make careless mistakes, i shld b getting pretty high =/ and next up was the 2.4km run during PE, well i think my partner is pitiful...he's only sec 1 and couldn't run well, i can c he tried his best but even b4 he got to finish his 6th rnd, it's announced that any1's rounds that have not finished is considered fail. Typical teachers, can't they just spare some thought for him and let him finish his run?? Well and during Chemistry period, some jokes made me feel kindof upset but come to think of it, i wasnt the 1 being laughed at, the boy was....so what's there to feel offended abt? Perhaps was nt in a good mood afta being so tired.

After a tiring day without eating during recess, we all went down to Pizza Hut at Lot1, wow newly opened and i hav to say i love the atmosphere they gave compared to the old location. Service was definitely better than Ajisen's >.<

Random...ok...notes of what to study for for next wk's test

i snapped down cuz i was lazy to copy it down. =X

Seating, we got a big 'U' shaped sofa seating sia, quite fortunate and good for us since we're so beaten out.

and finally psycho(left) is clean again. Cute!!

Psycho bullied*

the soup of the day : cream of mushroom

Opa's Beef meatball pasta

Zuany's Chicken royale baked pasta (i hope din remember it wrongly)

My fav Hawaiin pizza, i just can't miss this

and Haru's Curry Chicken Pizza (i think i got the name wrong =.= it was smth abt curry)
and i'd probably try it the nxt time, i think it tastes nice.

plus an evidence of a satisfying meal for all of us. We all cleared our plates clean in the end. WOW! It was a heavy meal, but worth day for a celebration of CCA standing down and all passing 2.4km nafa

Labels: Friends, Pictures, Randoms, rants

LOVE BESTIES~♥
5:04 PM