♥ WENXUAN-

I've not been blogging for days. Well what can i say? I'll just type thru briefly since theres nothing much in life anyways.

Monday 28/01 : The STB (Singapore Tourism Board) came to our school to give a talk on how vast and demanding the tourism industry is, and no doubt i would agree to it, yes cuz it covers a vast variety from tour guide to restaurant managers and blahs. But seriously, i have no intention to be in the tourism industry at all cuz i basically can't provide service, for pple hu noe me well enuff shld noe mahs, short tempered...how to service??!! So i decided to treat it like a Pre-Geog lesson before we reach the topic on Tourism, but that talk is kinda disappointing, the person wasn't catchy nor loud anuf and the speaker sux...not much info was covered and the presentation was brief. ARHHH!! Many of u must be thinking that i can't think of anything but benefits of the O lvls now, yeah i've set my goals towards that side since i have badluck on other sides like relationship, so i guess everyone has to move on one day! Oh wells...

Tuesday 29/01 : It was a trip to Jurong Island after school, replacing our AEP lessons, didn't mention it was a bad thing but the weather was so hot, we all thought it would be so much better to be used to sleep. Heh!! Initially thought it'll be quite interesting since it's a heavily guarded and protected area that it feels like crossing the check-point just to get through! But i must say, Ku-dos to Jurong Island, it was so awesome cuz it's ohsoboring!! To tell you the truth, people who noes me tend to know i have the tendency to be able to self-entertain and self-motivate under any conditions so if i can walk into Jurong Island and yawn my way, you noe lah... Went to Chem gallery and i have to say, it's a wasted trip since most of us don't really understand nor are really interested in the details they place inside, but its an experience so...$1 is worth it luhh. Crawled through the SMALL Discovery tunnel to see the fossils inside and we all have trouble climbing out, me in particular since i'm pretty tall myself so while trying to stand up at the opening, i hit my hack against the top part of the tunnel...OUCH! So i actually slept my way home on the bus, been really tired these days.

Today 31/01: Din feel veri well in the morning due to the running since i started to skip meals again so it's actually a cause when i felt the urge to vomit from motion sickness when sitting on the bus. Went to NAFA (Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts) for their open house since i was pretty much curious abt the insides of an artistic school so i dragged tired Haru and Opa along, thanx girls! Wasn't feeling veri goon since it's such a warm weather and we're seemingly dehydrated!! So went went to see the artworks of those students there and i have to say, i'm impressed! Showed us the exhibitions and how they melt silver for Jewellery making. Mrs Chiew was nice luhh, she knew we all din hav our lunch so she bought everything for us at the cafe while we're touring arnd and gave it to us lata, heh! I'd say the campus is tall than wide since we've been doing lots of climbing (which is hell with such weather) instead of walking. ARHH I was so hoping to go Campus 3 to see all the music stuff lyk playing of instruments, singing and dancing!! Disappointed. =(( Went to Campus 1 to see all the drawing based fine arts. Last, we went to see a student made video in the theatre and the theme was great since it's realistic and heavily based on everything happening around us, Good Job! The last item would've been perfect if this particular school (starts with a 'T' at the east side of Singapore) came in and spoiled the golden silence in the theatre during the movie screening, making a havoc and don't even bother if they are blocking people's views, infact, they are DANCING infront of us. Oh well...it's not from our school fortunately, so why shld i care?? Since they wana spoil their image infront of my school and some other schools ((:

Anyway, don't really know what to say but...YAY!! I scored Distinction for P.Chem again and i miraculously passed my Bio with a C5 when i expected a fail! Lols. Bio must jiayou liao...hahas. Tmr CCA wear full-U sia...oh wells, it's ok since i've got 4 new badges to flaunt rite? LOL!! Gunna change hairstyle when go cut hair with Opa, Zuany and Haru this sunday, probably caling the person to cut a thin layer of fringe just above my eyes for me bah...then if nt enuf can tk hair frm the back to the front as fringe, it's worth the try i guess.

LOVE BESTIES~♥
10:08 PM

I seriously don't know whats the big big problem with me but i keep getting the feeling that i'm slowly gaining weight again. Should i stop trying to improve abit on my appetite and go back to starving myself?? I don't know. It's a bitter choice, i don't want to be thrown back to the beginning again. )):

LOVE BESTIES~♥
8:48 PM

SO SO SO TIRED!!!!! AHHH!!!! For the first time i was like laughing at myself when i saw my Amaths results for Trigo, as if i kindof expected it and was just anticipating the arrival of the disastrous-ly done paper. LOL!! K i will not do this again cuz i can't afford to continue playing around this way anymore, i seriously lack the grey matter some pple just have in them since birth. In a way, that they'd be able to slack through the year and get good O lvl grades going into where they desire to be or simply when they look at a question then 'click!' they know how to do with minimal carelessness unlike yours truly :D

School stuff's been a headache from friends problems to my own academics and i have to say it with my conscience that even though i've been studying hard, it's still not hard enough to be considered hard for my standard. HEY C'mon, i want a 13pnts for L1R5 so i better buck up alrdy!!! CCA's been a real dread as i find myself suffocating with 30% of the reason being it's big heavy load and the super unavoidable large factor that takes up tonnes of my time so while waiting for the arrival to the grand date of 21st march, i'll just have to bear with this for awhile longer.

Shiyun : Remember wad i say yeah?? Believe in what you think, use ur heart to feel who u think are ur real friends and go through with it, that's what matters. I'll be here if you need a listening ear though i'm not quite and auditory person. Hahax! Been pretty emotional over studies recently and on last thursday which is 24/jan which is the release to O lvl results, i feel my heart throbing and it's almost like i am the one taking the results!! The fear welling up within my stomach when i see people with different reactions, screams of joy and screams of pain. Tears of joy and tears of sadness. People jumping around because of good results and ones jumping DOWN due to the big blow they got. So which catogory will i be joining?? My teachers including my tuition teacher are putting really high hopes on me, they believe in my ability and never once did they question my ability to go through with this whole O lvls thingy, so now it's my turn to ask myself, am i ready for it? Cuz if i'm not, then i'd better get cracking and work harder already!

Moments of camwhore afew minutes ago~

the - ♥ xüãи! pout

- ♥ xüãи! and Monster~~

LOVE BESTIES~♥
12:48 AM

Recently's been really really stressful for me, duno wad happened oso, feel like i'm breaking down soon. Picking up fights and getting angry/frustrated at absolutely nothing!! Tests after tests, my new PE teacher is also starting to pick up my hatred for PE!! I can't stand such pressure and i feel myself unable to control my emotions within this while so bear with me people...been so occupied i actually forgot to feed my darlings and when i put a melon seed in today, they fought for it till i put another 1 and refill their food bowl. Seriously have to but new packet of melon seeds soon, seed supply running real low!! Fed them with lettuce as always and good thing they are getting prettier and prettier. Heh...

On happy note, i've been real cheeky in school these days and never failed to give Opa my trademark "wet palm" these 3 days which let her to telling me she'd return me with 1 but forget abt it the next day till i return her with another new 'wet palm' so watch out Opa. MUHAHAHA!!! Lols. School is so much fun when you get time to go crazy with your kinky favourite girls in class and get to engrossed in girls' talks like "your type of dream boy or some ~~horny~~ funny stuff. We end up thinking of more and more ways to bully eachother weather its tickling or hitting and obviously i take the lead in that role. But hey...who am i?? LOL!!!! Sorry girls if i have been a little temperamental these days...perhaps i'm just putting too much pressure and too high of expectations on myself...i hope i can follow up and do well soon... ): I've been working hard....real hard and i don't deny that fact so pls dun let my effort go to waste by not producing results...they can be a big bummer and a big de-motivation at times...

Anyway...something i drew for Haru today during a short freetime

nice huh?? though not perfect...i hope she likes it. ((:

LOVE BESTIES~♥
6:08 PM

Today went out with Opa, Haru and Zuany. Lols. And all the friend stuff fine ler, we all must've been too stressed up which causes those horribly unnecessary conflicts amongst. Lols. Wanted to buy Mini Dress and Cardigan today and i actually found a nice set. YAY!! Lols. Morning, Zuany was a lil late so went to play Para awhile and din go well prolly cuz in e morning no strength bahs. Ate $2 Nasi Lemak arnd CCK xchange, nt bad sia e taste + milktea. LOL!!! Went Bugis Street and squeezed wif the crowd but was worth it in e end since i got what i originally went there for. After that, went toThis Fashion and coincidentally met Shiyun and Geraldine. I recognized Geraldine by her Combined UG Camp T-shirt. I mean...who else will wear that out??!! Lols. Then PS Opa they all to find Clothing for Yun and Gdine. Sry ahh Besties will mk up to ur de sry >.< And had a hard time choosing cuz due to some religious issue, Yun cant choose clothing of many sorts of clr which limits choices by a steep drop!! Makes us all sian and at the end both of them got 1 Mini Dress each as well + another diff set of clothing. Heh, guess we all had a fruitful day. Had Pasta Mania for dinner...it tastes...okay lah. LOL!!! Then went Para-ing 1 mre rnd in e evening when we got bak to lot1, reached home at near 10pm. Pix...

Opa's Candid while she using fone...

Ok random...pretend u saw nth yeah??

Chicken Balognese w/ Spaghetti

and i couldn't finish it...sadly.

The cheese too strong to my liking, makes me feel full damn fast

And what i bought, not that clear but it looks nicer in real!!

And a match of white short sleeved with the short vest i bought from RuiLin

And incase u peeps missed my darlings...here are some pix of them!!

Winter eating~

Heh...Sugar so photogenic!! Winter is behind...

Sugar...lookie here~~

Shh....Sugar's sleeping

Winter dozing off...

Ehh i din bully it and mk it sleep on cage bottoms hor...i placed e hay nicely...they are the naughty ones who move the hay arnd...

See what i mean?? Look at the right side...1 whole clump of hay!! It's their doing..

They moved it to 1 corner and leave the other side bare.

Guess they wan2 sleep on cool floorings at times. Heh!

And Sugar flips over

Sugar : "What's the commotion abt?? I'm sleeping here"

Hope ur enjoyed my picture-ated post. Heh...Now is back to studies...i still feel bad for binomial theorm test tho...guess i'll have to just work harder!! XUAN GAMBATE!!

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:30 PM

Hearts are normally considered the body's strongest organ, but for mine, i'd classify it as a weakling. Perhaps this only applies to me as i realized that people around me tend to be mentally-stronger and less emotional. The hearts of friends beat as one but when you realize that some of your closest friend's heartbeat steps synchronizing with yours, it can be hurtful. Am i being too sensitive??? Crying during Recess time, Crying at night, vomitting, skipping meals...signs of weaknesses that i'm unable to get rid of. Thank : Xinjie, Simin, JingZuan, SuetLian, Cheryl, Cheri and Brandon for trying to comfort me even though i was on a down day with tonnes of emotional problems. I really really appreciated those helps. I failed Binomial Test 9/20, it was supposed to be 18/20 but apparently i pressed wrongly on my calculator or i forgot to put basic signs like '+' and '-'. I cried, i put in so much effort and the end results, was i wrong at the beginning?? Hard work pays off??? I'm not sure. 71days to CCA stand down!!

LOVE BESTIES~♥
8:40 PM

You never really know what tomorrow brings for you, not even the next moment, it's so true...yeah maybe in your eyes i'm too fortunate to understand your sorrows and bitterness, that's why i feel the distance between us drifting apart. You leave me out whenever ur go out, i felt bitter for sometime but i refuse to admit this. But today u successfully broke my heart, i was recovering cuz i felt that friendship is the strength to pick me up again, but like always...i'm left disappointed. What are friends for?? Aren't they supposed to be the ones to listen to your problems and share it with you?? Or maybe to you i'm too childish and spoilt, i don't know how to cherish my happiness. You totally stabbed me with your words, and i cried and vomitted yet again. I promised not to, but you succeeded. I'm sorry i've been such a useless and helpless friend to you. I'm unable to understand your thoughts and feelings and i'm sorry that i made you feel that i dont deserve to know your sorrows as much as i thought you deserved to know mine. Congratulations. you've made me cried again, things will never be the same again.

LOVE BESTIES~♥
9:54 PM

Who says that the beginning of years are relaxing?? NOOOO!!! There no such word as relaxing for as long as you're 15 yrs and onwards in Singapore as a Singaporean. Studies and Life itself can be a bore and a super source of exhaustion itself at times. We're all striving for the better, for a brighter future, but in Singapore there's only one phrase used by all of us all the time "No pain, no gain" and parents never fail to nag about the importance of getting into a good JC or at least into a Poly with a good course. It's all for money people. So for this materialistic and down to earth future-sight, my life starts to become ohsoboring. The mentality of getting into a top notch school keeps striking my badly influenced mind so much that my simple goal of PJC has slowly shifted to higher sights like AJC or perhaps even more. "Dream is one thing and the amount of effort one put in is another" or so thats what i tell myself all the time. I hate dreaming but not getting what i want cuz that has never happened to me up till now, but if you ask me, i regret not going into a 3ple science class like 4/9 now or 3/9 then cuz i realized how much limited my choices are without physics. The things i never regret is the friends i made in 3/7, 4/7 and thats supposed to be the only thing i'm happy about. I feel like i may be another typical Singaporean who's selfish for themself that i have to admit sometimes i wish i could do way better than anyone. But i just can't bring myself to do that since i have friends i really cared for and i hope to see them strive with me as well.

I'll have to apologize to my fiction readers though since i haven't been able to draw out ample of time nor ideas or motivation to start typing my next chapters. What i promised i'll finish will be done. What i've started will end so that they won't have to worry.

Motivation stirs it's way deep into my mind right now, studying and doing homework is my daily necessity now since i feel the uneasiness just slacking and not 'gaining knowledge' for just one day. To me, as the 'O' levels draws closer and closer, i feel that i'll start to change into another person cuz i have far and big dreams i really want to achieve no matter how difficult and seemingly slim chances to fulfilling it has. Xuan is still Xuan no matter how much she change in her attitude and i'm sure my friends would understand this vision of mine, i want to live for the better cuz i found better things to work for than just griefing over what i've lost in the past. Xuan will never look back nor cry again cuz to her now, the future lies more thats worthy of her thoughts than any past saddening romance. Xuan is still on the voyage of slimming down so hopefully by this year June-August, i'll get a taste of my fruits of labour in dieting this year. It's gunna get rough :D

LOVE BESTIES~♥
4:36 PM

YAWWW PEOPLE!!! i'm sure u guys missed my pictured posts huh. :D Lols. I'm bored luhhs and recently go out oso neva tk pics, go study, go SP, NYP, dancing all these all no pics. Mus be disappointed rite?? I promise to take mre nxt time :D Today signed up for NAFA orientation oso, nt cuz im interested...i'm just curious. Fine arts worh. Today damn suay never bring tonnes of things, lucky nth happened so i mus finish many things fast today and i hav to make this post short. BOO!! I bought 2 mini-dress a.k.a long shirt + a pair of leggings, puffed elbow sleeved shirt with a jeans vest and white shorts and now i'm just left with the last set of clothing before i'm all done with my new year clothing shopping!! WOO. K lah nth much to post. I hope u pple missed me cuz i gt pics below :D

Missed me?? Ofcuz u did =)

Ok now this is weird

and a super super kuku look...

I have cravings for wine recently. Heavy ones...

and a past photo of my cute lil brudder!!

and just realized i having been doing much drawings lately so...here are 2 of them and i drew them for Xinjie. Hehs...hope she liked it. ((:

Sorry for this uber short short meaningless post, just to tell u pple dat pictured posts will be back on the run again so stay tuned :D

LOVE BESTIES~♥
4:51 PM

Wow this is crazy...since i have nth much to blog abt lets jux talk abt our Poly tours. LOL!!! I realized that i'm turning towards Poly a little ever since the Singapore Poly tour and it became more heated when i went to Nanyang Poly, but the Uni ambition in my mind is still thriving. OMG!!

10/01 (thurs)

The trip to SP...i thought it was supposed to be good till it rained and that kindof spoiled the day. ARGH!!! It made the air around so humid that we all went sweaty and sticky!! I was kindof intimidiated by the size of the campus and just to walk from the main entrance to the Library takes miles of walking...darnZ!! My leg is so pain after all that walking and to think we didn't cover the whole campus at all...and they are planning on EXPANDING THE SCHOOL!!! Crazy Singapore Poly LOL!! They have tonnes of canteens, Koufu, countless of vending machines, KFC, Pizza hut and Mcdonalds so u dun really have to worry abt starving in SP. LOL!! It's the biggest Poly arnd and i was quite impressed by e student proj. LOL!!! Had to see e map so much cuz...its so big...its hard to find a distinct location and we ended up walking millions of miles more cuz we kept going in circles. DARN!! So tired lahh i went home lyk leg gunna break!! I've always been quite curious abt whats like in the interior of SP since it's so majestic looking whenever we pass by Dover station and what made me so....shocked was that they owned Dover MRT station!! DARNNIT!!!! How can they have everything??!! -.- Other polys all main gate open to pple entering...only classrooms and maybe canteens are locked but SP have their Campus the main entrance blocked by a pass gate oso...they scared of terrorist attack. :D LOL!! Better to be safe than sorry mah. For RP i duno since its damn new...and i hav absolutely no interest in RP as well lah...too inexperienced. The swimming pool is exaggerating and what's a tour counter doing inside the campus??!! LOL!! They kindof gave me a deep lasting impression and made me think twice abt wher i wan2 go. Oh wells~

11/01 (Friday)

Go NYP our first Impression was...it's quiet but it didn't last for long. At least till we reached the main area where all their concert/performances/showcases was held..and we changed our mind. Went a little better since it didn't really rain and it's quite convenient like SP as well. Too bad Jeremy was unable to give us a tour like wise for Xinyou the previous day since it's so unlucky both their lesson times clashed. LOL!! So sadly on both days we have no1 to orientate us. Today was special...sadly Zuan cannot join us but Opa and Haru's Choir fren Yuki joint us and shes a sweet girl!! Lols. I didn't take pics of e places i visited cuz my hands was holding my books and my shoulders were aching from the excessively long hours of carrying my heavy bag walking arnd. Hehs. NP de corridors were easier to walk compared to SP since its more spacious and the buildings are linked continuously with shelter which is different from SP's which is all seperated so in the event of a rain...hurhur i can imagine which poly will have many wet chickens walking arnd. LOL.The atmosphere of the people arnd in NYP is friendlier as well...and i think that SP has too many guys arnd as well so it can be quite distracting when you come to think of it. Nothing much to say but i love the swimming pools on both sides. WOOTS!!

Presently

I'm confused so the next stop will be at Jurong JC and i desperately pray that they find the passion i once had for JC back again cuz i'm starting to gain interest in polys. Goes to show how scary and powerful propaganda are in campuses now adays. HAIYOH!! Aiya but i think nw most important is to do well in my O lvls so dat when it comes to school selection, it's easy for me to go to anywhere i aspire to be. I just hope i wont make the wrong choice and regret then.

LOVE BESTIES~♥
11:40 PM

Haix...things have been irritating me these days. My computer's down on last Thursday cuz of some idiot Trojan Horse virus...damn powerful luhhx~!!! Attack my PC and screw up everything so i have to reformat my comp and some errors occured so have to get some professional to do the rest of the work -.- So i was unable to wish Xinyou Happy Birthday on 5th Jan itself and sent him an sms, only to get a miracle with return message. It was short but it brightened me...perhaps for that instant only.

Last friday CCA open house was dumb!! The school allowed the sec1s to go home so most of them headed for the gate so it ended up with us opening the house to ourselves. How wonderful. And most of them are so rude!! They either walk away when they see you, or they walk away without saying anything or looking back at all when you're talking to them. People...where are your manners?? !@#$%^&* It was freaky!! To think that we set up everything and wore our warm uniform after a long and tiring day of lessons, they walk away just like that. FINE!! It's my last year anyway so i'll just bag my CCA points and testimonial records and say goodbye on 28/3...

Yesterday was just as irritating for me...I was at the LRT station when i received a call from Darlene who reminded me that there was a NCO-Council meeting which i apparently forgot. That was my fault and i agreed to that so...the caller switched and I ended up getting a nice and 'heart-warming' scolding from Dorcas..."You are already sec4 yet you can forget the meeting. It's compulsory so you better come back to school for meeting now! Ms. Vivian will be here!" Ok fine...it's compulsory so i assumed its important. I was so far away from school already and i have to go back, ARGH!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR CCA TO STAND DOWN!! And say, speak for urself, you think i forgot that purposely??!! I was almost on my verge of tears before i taunt myself... I'll never cry again, cuz if i cry, it only means that i've lost. I'll never submit to sadness, fear or anything again!! Returning back to school, i shook off all looks i was given at the classroom. HELLO??!! I reached the school like 10 minutes ago so it means that i made it back in 5minutes...i RAN BACK!!! And i couldn't find them cuz their venue they put "cafeteria" but they ended up in thr classroom, calling me to come without telling me the change of venue. THANKS PEOPLE!! I had enough of this CCA!! I sat there for 2 god damn fucking hours waiting for their crappish meeting to end. All those main points WERE DISCUSSED AGES AGO!! They are just repeating everything and crapping all their loads of fucking crap about climbing some idiot mountain which i'm NOT INTERESTED AT ALL!! Enjoy ur church fun, u can talk till ur mouths rot but why the hell call me back to listen to all those bullshit??!! Cheri was clearly unhappy as well, she forgot as well and she had to bring the bowl of her noodles she originally wanted to eat for lunch back to listen to their bullshit for 2 nice hours. OH GOD!! I CAN FINISH MY MATHS PAPER USING THOSE 2 HOURS!!! So when i went home, i had to bathe and eat dinner before rushing my tuition homework and school work all the way till 11+ and it wasn't completed. It was big thanks to them. You people have all the time in the world to go to church and sing lalala happily but i'm not as free as you people. Siewsia was given the list of 'supervising officers a.k.a officer in charge' for the next few weeks to plan for program but i wasn't So what does this tell u?? Since you dont need me around, then why the fuck get my back here??!! I don't give a damn about this position in the council to tell you seriously!! I've had it with having you COSBT people ordering me around, i noe, ur have church to conduct ur nice nice meetingd. THEN GO ON!!! Since i don't get CCA points nor testimonial records for all these work, then why am i being so tired for since i'm not enjoying it??!! I was loaded with vulgarities on my way home yesterday and i was going to explode so i just found Brandon to let off my steam so thanks there!!

ARGH!! I've had it with this CCA, so once i'm out, i'm out for good and i'm never returning!! Shiyun told me days ago that although i became emotionally stronger by loads, showing no signs of crying or weaknesses, my temper also turned for the worse causing tremendous moodswings. I'm aware of it too, yun. But i'd rather turn against than to submit out of weakness again. Tomorrow's the day to go Singapore Polytechnic Open House but...somethings refraining me from carrying a light heart to go and most of you should know why if you've been reading my blog. Friday's Nanyang Polytechnic's open house and I hope we're excused to go ther cuz i cant wait to get my ass out of CCA for a week. WOO!!

LOVE BESTIES~♥
5:16 PM

Alright the first day of school today. It's pretty slacked but what do you expect? Mr Chia is getting married this saturday...whoa congrats!! How long will ur honeymoon be??!! LOL!!!! Love our new form teacher Mrs Ong, shes super lenient to us luhhx can?? LOL!! Letting us make decisions and she's reasonable!! I think i can live with her for another year :D Come to think of it, 'O' Levels are approaching and it's quite scary yet exciting when you come to think about it. The Singapore Polytechnic orientation/tour will be next thursday which is alot earlier than we expected. I smsed Xinyou telling him since he's in SP but he never replied like usual, 不再避开我了; 这不是你答应我的吗? 你的做法伤到了我的自尊心; 这只会让我更加痛苦; 你明白吗？？You promised...have you forgotten??!! Are you really busy or was the promise that day just a way to settle the problem abt me for now??!! Someone told me...I'm caring for someone who doesn't care about me. I told you...the feelings i harboured faded!! Why can't you understand??!! Although the 'love' i once had faded, it still hurts to know that the person whom i cared for is avoiding me. I tried not to go near places nor do things that'd remind me of u, now i'm hesitating if it was a mistake to sign up to orientate around SP in the 1st place?? Will someone tell me?? Please...

LOVE BESTIES~♥
6:49 PM

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU WHO PASS BY HERE!!
May 2008 bring best of luck and blessings to all of you and remember, a new year means a new start so don't forget to smile!!! ((:

LOVE BESTIES~♥
1:15 AM